Communication

“Respectfully, please stop yapping.”

This was the text my wife and I got from our teenage son, as we were trying to pull information from him while we were out of state.

He had the rare privilege of being home alone, and didn’t want to ‘waste’ it texting back and forth with his parents.

While it was a frustrating, and hilarious, text to receive, after putting ourselves in his shoes we understood where he was coming from.

It illustrates the Platinum Rule, “Treat others as they would like to be treated.” It is much different from the Golden Rule, and once you hear it, the Platinum Rule will become your go to.

I often think of this when dealing with extroverts vs. introverts, both personally and in business. For example…
▪️ An introvert doesn’t want a surprise birthday party
▪️ An extrovert prefers an in person meeting over a virtual one

So when you get to ‘yapping’, make sure the recipient is in a yapping mood. 😀

With so many posts and messages on LinkedIn clearly being AI generated, I didn’t want to be left behind. With my human edits (emojis and em-dashes deleted for sanity), here is ChatGPT’s Top Ten List:

1. Mass-sending identical connection requests
▪️Why it annoys: Feels spammy and impersonal.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to draft short, personalized notes.

2. Instantly DM’ing a sales pitch after connecting
▪️Why it annoys: Too pushy, without having built a relationship first.
▪️AI alternative: Have AI help you write a warm intro that offers value first.

3. Flooding the feed with promotional posts
▪️Why it annoys: Feeds get repetitive and sales-y.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to create a diverse and timely content plan.

4. Posting unedited AI essays
▪️Why it annoys: Feels inauthentic and sounds robotic.
▪️AI alternative: Let AI draft, but always human-edit for authenticity.

5. Auto-commenting “Great post!” everywhere
▪️Why it annoys: Obvious automation.
▪️AI alternative: Ask AI to suggest thoughtful, specific comments.

6. Endorsement requests from strangers
▪️Why it annoys: Feels transactional.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to draft a request for people who know your work.

7. Tagging everyone to boost reach
▪️Why it annoys: Pulls people into irrelevant conversations.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to identify those directly connected to the topic.

8. Endless automated follow-ups
▪️Why it annoys: Harassment by persistence.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to draft one polite follow-up, and then move on.

9. Sharing misleading, clickbaity, or divisive content
▪️Why it annoys: Undermines trust and can alienate your network.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to fact-check sources before sharing.

10. DM’ing random files or resumes
▪️Why it annoys: intrusive behavior with security and privacy concerns.
▪️AI alternative: Use AI to create a short message and portfolio link.

What’s the most annoying LinkedIn AI habit you’ve seen lately?

This past week I read, and participated in, discussions amongst friends, family, and acquaintances that ranged from civil, to testy, to heated. I was reminded with emphasis how poorly text based social media are suited for accurate and intelligent communication.

For thousands of years, the vast majority of human communication was face to face, where tone, facial expression, and context are much more easily understood. Only in the last 100 years with the telephone (which removed facial context), and just very recently via digital media (which further removed audio context) have many of these interactions transitioned solely to text on apps like Facebook and Twitter.

As I was thinking about this problem, I was listening to The James Altucher Show Podcast (Episode 192 with Stephen Dubner). At 33:30, Stephen Dubner says, “Written communication is very two-dimensional and you’re missing all the inflection, you’re missing humor, people make mistakes in writing and in reading, and I find that a lot of problems I’m constantly encountering, like people failing to follow through, or to do stuff, or to get the idea, are the result of literally poor communication.”

Not to mention the ease with which one can type an update free from proofreading, nuance, or fact-checking combined with digital permanence denies people the chance to say, “I didn’t mean it like that, let me clarify” as they might in a conversation.

What makes matters worse is the virtual echo chambers we find ourselves in, whether chosen by us or for us. On Twitter, as you chose to follow like-minded accounts, you surround yourself with similar opinions. On Facebook, their algorithm increasingly encircles you by news and information and discussions that resonate with your pre-established thoughts. Their goal as a profit-maximizing business is to leave their users with a positive experience, and if that means divergence of opinions are squashed, then so be it.

To further exacerbate the problem, the sensationalized news promotes/derides the vocal minority on the fringes of any group that wants to get publicity, and that viewpoint or inflexibility is ascribed to the entire group.

Now, what does this have to do with business? I run into the same misunderstandings and miscommunications with email as with social media. The rules are the same no matter which media you are communicating with:

1. Know your audience
2. Type with clarity to avoid ambiguity
3. Choose a conversation over text, especially when your subject matter may be inflammatory or divisive

Personally, my rule of thumb is “Never type anything I wouldn’t want to show my grandmother.”